


Panty Raid

by SarcasticOnion



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Alec can speak cat, Church the Cat, Cute, Fluff, Honestly had fun writing this, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, first fic, human!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8305855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticOnion/pseuds/SarcasticOnion
Summary: Alec is Pet sitting his parents' cat Church for a week and he later discovers that Church has a habit of taking things that are not his. MALEC Human!AU





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! this is my first fanfiction. So I decided to write something light-hearted and funny about the OTP that is high on my list of pairs that can emotionally destroy me. See summary I also enjoy constructive criticism so please be gentle and tell me what you think. Now enjoy :)

 

There are a few perks to living by yourself. One of which is to walk about the apartment, completely free of any form of judgement from the outside world. The only thing that Alec is concerned about invading his apartment, however, is the beam of sunlight directly aimed at his face. Alec was never a morning person, he’d much prefer to awake to the pitter-patter of the rain or perhaps the occasional alarm clock buzz, just never the sunlight. Point is he loved his bed, and barely ever left it if he could help it.

Shifting in his bed trying to ignore the fact that it was probably mid-day already would be an easy talk if not for the fact that the beam of light was literally, on his face. He could’ve sworn he had closed the shades last night.

 _Billions of miles away and it still hit my face_ He thought woefully

Alec begins to contemplate whether getting up was better that getting his face roasted. He is tired after all. He went through hell and back, doesn’t he deserve to sleep in at least once? He really just wanted to rest, with the semester of his law school over, concluded with last Friday’s Final examinations and his temporary leave at his part time job as a paralegal approved. The only thing scared to Alec right now was sleep.

Unfortunately fate was a cruel mistress, and stole what was left of anything sacred to Alec with a large feline. Not large per-say, simply furry and very demanding.

Alec felt the weight of his Persian cat, Church, on his stomach as said cat begins to mewling at him “Mreow”. Alec cracks one open, seeing this as a sign of response Church meows, rather yells, at Alec more “MREOW!”

“Alright! I’ll feed you. Just give me a few minutes Church, I have to get up” Alec let out in an exasperated tone, the freshness of sleep clear within his voice. The feline simply flicked its tail in response almost not even noticing the request staring unblinkingly at him with a bored expression. Alec rolls his eyes and wondered why he agreed to look after his parent’s cat while they’re abroad for a week. “Please” Alec supplied.

Regally, Church left off Alec to the floor, landing with a soft thud and sauntered off into the next room. Alec watched the entire time thinking about how the cat had much more personality than it should be good for. Begrudgingly getting up from his sanctuary throwing on a white shirt to go with the boxer shorts he has slept with. His body on autopilot towards the kitchen whilst his mind wonders aimlessly to and fro. That is until he discovered a piece on underwear on the floor. It was black and more importantly _satin_. Alec bent down to inspect the article of clothing wondering when he had bought this he stand and notices that there is actually an entire trail of underwear. Picking the garments as he followed the trail he now knows for sure these are not his. Alec considers himself thrifty and would never buy clothes beyond the ten dollar mark, unless it was on buy on get five promotion, but these ,oh no, these are expensive brands, Marc Jacobs, Calvin Klein’s, Warren, Walkers, he would never buy these!

The very definition of pale yet apparently, he felt as though he got paler as dark thoughts creeped into his mind ‘Did I get drunk last night and invite a creep with an underwear fetish? Even worse, DID I ACTUALLY BUY THESE? AM I BROKE NOW?’'Rather am I more broke now than I already am'

His less than innocent thoughts came to a halt when he found out where the trail ends, the utility closet at the far end of his apartment. He picked up the rest of the underwear, more expensive brands no doubt but Alec didn’t bother anymore, and walked towards the door. Upon closer inspection it seemed to be ajar. Alec, with his left hand already carrying eight pairs of underwear, open the door with the one hand to discover the truth. The truth being a very offended Church atop of a pile of more underwear.

Alec stared and Church stared back. After what seemed to be an eternity of silence, Alec broke it with a less the quiet voice “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” To which the feline responded with a soft “Mreow”, emphasising it with a tail flick. Which led to what only could be described as one of the most hilarious exchanges if one thought Alec to be mad. Fortunately Alec spoke cat, rather he spoke Church.

“How long has this been going on?!” Alec yelled.

“Mreow” _Since I got here_

“Where did you get these?”

“Mreow” _Your neighbour_

“Which one of the neighbours?”

“Mereow” _Four floors up_

Alec emitted a frustrated groan. His cat, no, his parent’s cat stole underwear from one of his neighbours. Not only does he have to return and apologize, but he also has to face the complete and utter humiliation of the process, fortunately it’s a guy’s, at least he’s hoping it is, otherwise he’s be facing sexual deviant charges. He shoos the unwilling Church away to pick up all the underwear and put them in a laundry basket. They weren’t that filthy, but if he was returning them, he might as well wash them first, it’s his fault and the person might take it as a sign of concession and sincerity.

_‘Or maybe they’d think you were trying to get rid of whatever evidence they can use in court’_

Alec shuddered as he shook off the thought and put on a pair of sweat pants before heading out his apartment. The apartment complex he lived in had a total of ten floors, there was a self-service Laundromat on the second floor which is where he was heading, to get the pile of expensive undergarments cleaned before he should start his no doubt embarrassing search for the owner. He made his way down the empty halls to the elevator. Immediately after he hit the button the elevator opened and he stepped in and pushed the button to the desired floor he was heading to. ‘It was a weekday, so people are either at work or out of the apartment’ he thought to himself although relieved no one was witnessing him burying the proverbial body. He shouldn’t be guilty really, it was all Church’s fault anyways. He looked unto the pile and noticed that one piece of undergarment had something thinly embroidered on it. He carefully shifted the weight of the basket to his left arm and used his free arm to reach for the article and inspect it closer. It had the initials ‘M.B’ on it.  He paused, who in his building had these initials again?

As he racks his brain the elevator door opens on the second floor and Alec quickly makes his way to the Laundromat. He peeks his head into the entry way to check if anyone was there and to his absolute despair, it wasn’t. This is a good new bad news moment. Good news was Alec figured out who owns the underwear. Bad news was he was standing in the Laundromat washing his own clothes.

The ‘he’ Alec is referring to is none other than Magnus Bane. He was above six feet tall, his lithe smooth body was covered head to toe in rich caramel skin, a trait from his Southeast Asian descent. His hair was up in his trademark spikes, and his eyes with the slightest hint of maroon eye shadow, perfectly matching his yellow green eyes. He discovered, using completely legal means, that Magnus is one of the top fashion designers in the city, people died to wear his clothes.  Alec was practically drooling the first time he saw Magnus in the elevator, it was awkward and Alec couldn’t stop staring up to the point Magnus noticed and Alec looked away flushed and embarrassed and here Alec is, practically drooling, again. ‘This is just perfect’ Alec thought. ‘Church decides to steal from the one guy he likes in the building, if he finds out he’ll think I’m some creep and put a restraining order on me’ Pushing all negativity aside he snapped himself back to reality and steeled himself to formulate a plan.

_‘Maybe if I do it quickly, he won’t notice, that it is his underwear, then all I have to do is figure out what room he’s in and then drop off the underwear there, then maybe put Church in a cage at night’_

He took a breath in and mentally prepared himself _‘Quickly and try to act casually’_ Alec coached himself. We walked and went straight for a washing machine on the other side of the room not looking up at all, you could even say it wasn’t even casual, but Alec didn’t care. He opened the machine and dumped all the contents of the basket in and shut the wash, a bit too hard apparently as Alec visibly flinched. Then he fumbled for change in his pocket, he got three coins into the slot but one had fallen out of his hand, and had rolled across the room all the way to Magnus, who was already looking at the already distressed Alec. Alec froze and Magnus gingerly picks up the coin and crosses over to Alec.

Alec watched as Magnus sauntered over to him like leopard and Alec was literally the deer in headlights. Magnus lifts his hand with the coin in front of Alec

“I believe you have dropped this” Magnus spoke. It took Alec a solid 45 seconds to respond.

“Oh right, umm, thanks” Opening his palm out to receive the coin.

Magnus opened his palm and dropped the coin unto Alec’s, long fingers make contact with Alec’s palm causes his spine to tingle upon contact. Magnus smiles at him to which Alec instinctively smiles back, and puts the coin into the slot to start the machine. Alec sets the time then leans on the washer waiting for the clothes to finish. He thought if he didn’t talk to Magnus he would go away, but unfortunately, like many things in other things he thought would happen, he was wrong.

“Lovely day we’re having today” Magnus said looking outside the window of the Mat, clear blue skies and the sun shining.

“Y-yeah, it sure is. It’s a lovely day to go out and umm…..do something.” Alec hesitated for a split second thinking Magnus wasn’t talking to him, then he remembered that they were the only two in the room. Magnus chuckles softly.

“Something? Certainly, I planned do something. What about you, got any plans today?” He grinned while asking.

_‘Jump into a void’_

“Oh, just going to laze around in bed all day, just got a break off work so… “ Alec trailed off not wanting to get into the details.

“Laze around? I thought you said it was a lovely day to do ‘Something’, as you put it” Magnus replied making air quotations.

“Well, what I meant was we’re all free to do what we choose, whether it is to go outside or otherwise. Which still counts as ‘Something’ ” Alec says rubbing the back of his neck.

“I guess you’re right.” His lips curl up into a smile. His eyes tracing Alec up and down in the silence that Alec took to respond. So Magnus initiates another conversation with Alec yet again.

“Have I seen you around here before? You’ve quite the familiar face. I would remember those pretty blue eyes anywhere” Magnus says leaning against one of the washing machines.

“Y-Yeah, we did one time share an elevator” He tried to fight the rushing blood to his face, and was failing miserably. Magnus seemed to enjoy the blushing boy while he tried to remember.

“Oh, yes! Now I remember, you wore an I.D at the time. You work at the law firm across the street right?”

“Yeah, I do I’m just the paralegal of one of the lawyers there, not yet a lawyer, but I am on my way” Alec coolly

“Education is very important, not that I have a degree, I simply have raw talent after. I’m-“

“Magnus Bane” Alec interrupted leaving Magnus taken aback. A slight shock on the features of his face, although similarly with Alec’s but his had more unrelenting fear on it.

“Well, you seem to have me at a disadvantage..” Magnus stepped closer to Alec “you know my name and I have yet to know yours.” Magnus said in by far the most seductive tone ever. At least according to Alec, because he swallowed before he responded.

“A-Alexander Lightwood, but you can call me Alec” He said fiddling his shirt in the process.

“Alexander..” It rolled off Magnus’ tongue so sinfully. Alec wanted to protest, After all only his parents called him Alexander, but he will have to make an exception now given the situation he was currently in. Magnus seemed to have noticed that Alec was getting a bit uncomfortable and stepped back a little.

“Well, Alexander, It’s a pleasure to meet you and since you’re free the entire day.  I was hoping you could join me for coffee later perhaps?”

Alec stared at him as if he had gown a second head before responding.

“Are you asking me out? On a _date_?” Alec asked almost begging reality to slap him across the face. Magnus’ expression immediately changed even to a point Alec say a crack of worry in his confidant stance.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you it just I was certain that-.“ Magnus backed away a bit

“No!” Alec might have said that a bit too loud “I mean I am interested. To go out. With you” Alec punctuated. Magnus’ smile returned immediately.

“Well, in that case, may I have your number?” Magnus asked handing his bedazzled phone to Alec.

“Sure” Alec took the phone and typed in his number. His nerves were gone and he felt more comfortable. He handed his own phone and Magnus did the same. He actually felt as if he could get to know more about Magnus and maybe become his boyfriend one day.

Time for the slap of reality also known as the Washing Machine signalling it as done.

“Here let me help you with those” Magnus offered.

“No!” Again a bit too loud Alec “I can handle it really” His voice on the verge of panic, as Magnus bent down to open the machine.

“We’re both men here Alexander, you don’t have to be ashamed of your undergarments” He says fishing out the cloths as Alec watches in horror. Magnus pauses as he inspects one.

“You certainly have great taste in brands Alexander, much like the brands I like” Magnus continues bewildered. Alec could not move or speak at all. He lifts the cloth closer and inspects it, squinting his eyes.

“Funny, thing these look very similar to the one’s I lost a few weeks ago, but the thing is I always embroider my initials on it, sort of like a persona touch to it.  Hold on..” Magnus says as he turns it to one side and sees the embroidered initials on it to confirm that they are indeed his. “These are mine! Where did you-“

Alec never let him finish the question for Alec ran. He ran straight to the staircase and then up them to his apartment. He made it to his room where he opened then immediately shut it behind him. Locking the door in the process. He then sunk down to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. He got asked out, from the guy he’s been crushing on for a while now, ruined all because he had to be sweet enough to offer Alec some help.  Alec probably didn’t deserve to go out with him anyways, I mean he is amazing after all. Ale c did have a consolation prize, he did ultimately return the underwear back to its owner.

After what felt like an eternity, he gets up and head to the kitchen. He still hasn’t eaten yet. He grabs a cereal box from the cupboard above him and then milk and juice from the mini fridge he has. Pouring himself a bowl and a glass he begins to eat in silence. As he eats he couldn’t help but wonder if he had forgotten something. He paused and looked around wondering why everything was so quiet.

_Church_

He gets up from his chair grabs a can of cat food and hooks it on the electric can opener. The opener emits a noise for roughly ten seconds while opening the can. Sure enough, he hears a faint thud that came from his room and Church emerges from his room trotting towards the promise of food. Alec shakes his head and places the can unto the floor so Church can eat out of it to which the feline happily obliges.

Alec was about to sit back down to continue his meal when he heard the sound of his bedroom window open and then a heavy thud on the floor. Instinctively he drew a gun from one of the kitchen draws and aimed at his door, waiting for the intruder to reveal himself. His window was next to a fire escape, and more often than not he would leave it open for Church to come and as freely as he chooses. For another thing, he never bothered to lock the window, he was a college student perpetually drowning in debt and the most expensive thing in the apartment was the set of law books on a shelf in his room, still it didn’t mean he wasn’t ready when someone delusional decided to break into his apartment.

He took aim and stepped closer to the door not breaking his posture to take a shot. He kicked his door down with one firm kick and took aim at the figure in his room.

“Alright asshole I don’t know what you think you’re going to achieve from robbing a broke college student but you better put your hands up and turn around before I’m going to put a bullet through your-“ Then the figure turns and Alec recognizes the yellow green eyes.

“Magnus?”

Magnus smiles and greets Alec “Hello again Alexander”

“What are you doing breaking and entering into my apartment?”

“Now, calm down Alexander, there’s a perfectly good reason-“

“Uh Huh” Alec narrowed his eyes.

“-that I’m here, but first can you please put the gun down.”

Magnus says his eyes, locked unto Alec, when Alec realizes that the gun is still pointed and Magnus, He lowers it and puts it back into the holster on his back.

“Now answer me, why are you here?” Alec was really confused, Magnus got his underwear back, what else did he want?

“After you ran out on me, I tried to follow you, but you were too fast I didn’t catch up, I wanted to know how you got my underwear. I thought it was strange. So then I decided to text you as soon as I made it back to my apartment, but then when I got there I found a Persian cat, the same cat I have been spotting taking my underwear for about a week, rummaging through my drawers and he suddenly ran out the window, I followed it down the fire escape towards your window and so here I am” Magnus finishes his hands in a “ta-da” position.

Alec’s shoulders slump and he shakes his head.

“Now your turn” Magnus says suddenly

“What?” Alec snaps

“Your turn to explain why you ran out on me earlier” Magnus clarified.

“I thought, y-you, you know, I was a…” Alec murmured the last bit

“Creep? Pervert? Psycho?” Magnus supplied cheerfully

“So you were thinking it!” Alec said in a loud hurt tone.

Magnus laughs. He is literally laughing at Alec right now as Alec is blushing furiously. Magnus’ laugh is amazing but putting it into context he was getting a tad bit offensive, Alec was contemplating shooting him in the leg. As if Magnus had read is mind he put his hands in front of him open palmed. Alec relaxes his shoulders, signalling Magnus to come closer.

“I never thought for a second you were any of those things. Peculiar perhaps, but never pervert. ” Magnus says gently. Alec comes towards Magnus, closing in whatever space was between them until their faces were inches apart.

“So back downstairs, you were just going to ask if- “ Alec began.

“If you owned a Persian thief” Magnus supplied grinning

“Not really much of a thief more of a spoilt brat really” Alec chuckles a little.

“Of course”

Alec notices that Magnus was glancing between his eyes and his lips he smiles.

“I don’t object to being kissed by the way” Alec declares

“What?” Magnus blinked. For the first time in a conversation it was Magnus that was caught off guard.

“I said” Alec clarifies and leans in slowly “I fully consent to you kissing me” Magnus meets his lips half way and they come into contact. At first soft and timid then slowly the pressure builds and then they meet harder. Hungry for the taste of each other’s mouths, both of Alec’s hands on Magnus’ face while Magnus’s hands find their way to the centre of Alec’s back to support them. They break apart, to breathe only inches away from each other, their breaths intermingling between them. They gaze into each other’s eyes, a vast ocean meeting a vibrant valley. 

Later, and by later I meant much much later, they head out for the coffee date Magnus had promised.

Before leaving, Alec locks all of his windows and checks on Church before leaving, satisfied he heads out the apartment locking the door behind him.  Meanwhile the Persian cat slumbers atop Alec’s bed with an almost satisfied grin, if cats could grin that is. Then he lets out some incoherent mewling and he changes position on the bed. As if to say

_Finally, all alone. My plan worked out great_

 

 

 


End file.
